Yesterday, I suggested to someone to stop focusing on herself and start focusing on her dream, instead.
I say that to a lot of people, actually.
And I say it often. Including to myself.
Because I know from hard experience, both in my own life and from witnessing the healing of others for so many years, that it’s only possible to create your dream if you focus on it, and not your poor, pathetic, sad, grieving, hurt, unperfect, guilty (add your own self-talk here) self.
It’s really true, that old saying:
Where your thoughts go your energy flows.
Focus on sad, you get sad.
Focus on feeling better, feeling better comes.
Focus on creating dreams, dreams get created.
In my own experience of with umpteen years of depression, I got to see myself spiral down and down and down until I really thought there was no way up, ever.
And then I had the surprise good fortune to learn energy practices. Ho! Miracle! I practiced every day. Sometimes all day – what else did I have to do? After so many years in Down, Up seemed impossible, but I was bound and determined to get there, because Down was killing me.
I got to see myself climbing my inner ladder back up and up and up again. Until now I never go back down as far as I did. Ever.
So, how do you climb out without knowing how, or without a friendly supportive hand? There’s the rub. Most of us stumble along without knowing how. OK. Here’s how.
Let’s look at where are you at. Are you:
In a pit of despair?
Sunk in depression?
Ridden by disappointment in yourself and what you coulda-shoulda-woulda been but aren’t?
Or maybe it isn’t all that bad:
Maybe just one little part of your life isn’t working, and you just need a hand up there to complete the success and happiness you have built in the rest of your life and business.
Either way – the principle is the same – you’ve got to focus on what you would prefer, not on what hurts.
If you fall and sprain your ankle, obviously you don’t ignore it and limp home pretending all is rosy! You focus on what you’d prefer: a healthy ankle. You call for help. You do what it takes to heal.
Always focusing on the healthy ankle…not the pain and how stupid you were to fall and how embarrassing it was to fall in front of everyone and what bad company you are right now because you’re suffering pain and how guilty you feel because you’re not perfect…or whatever other self-recrimination you can think up!
Every time you hear your thoughts angling towards ‘I’m not…’ or ‘I don’t have…’ come back.
Stop your thought path.
Take a deep breath.
Choose to come back to the real you…the real spark of Light that sits right at the center of your Being.
BE with that, and remember that you’ve got a new road to follow now – the road of feel-better.
And, of course, tap!
Now keep your attention on that spark of Light as you go about your day’s activities and your nightly rest.
Always, always keep a part of your mind on that flame!
Because as you do, the other nasty, horrid, uncomfortable stuff will slowly slowly fall away, or will be transformed into usable, creative juice.
Keep determined to focus on that flame. Keep steady. This is your life, for goodness sake! It’s not a game or a test or a school play where everyone goes home for cookies afterwards.
It’s real. Your dreams are real. Even if it’s just the little tiny dream of feeling better. Not even feeling happy, because for some people from the blackness to happy is a big stretch. Just feeling better. Start there.
I’m telling you right now that it only took me 6 weeks to ban every suicidal thought I ever had over the course of 35 years.
But I was determined, and refused to give up. I cried a lot – a LOT – but I kept going. Are you that determined?
Because if you are, you really will gain the state of mind you want.
How is it possible that we have become so entrenched in self-focus that we forget that there is so much more out there for us to have fun with, to play with, to profit from, to create with and for others?
It’s just habit. From the time we were little and our parents and caregivers were telling us do this do that, bad boy, naughty girl, little boys don’t cry, good girls are seen and not heard, good girls cross their legs….
And gradually we became so centered on trying to do what we were told (or not getting caught doing what we were told was ‘bad’! – ) and trying to fit in and doing our best to stay safe and survive that our heart’s deepest desires fell by the wayside.
I want you to be free to be you.
I implore you – please – dig your dreams out again – even if you only start with the little bitty ones – now, as soon as you can – and dust them off. Bring them out into the light of day where you can nurture them, water and fertilize them.
And focus on them. Focus on one small step you can take right now or first thing in the morning to bring that dream to reality – even if that’s all you can do for now!
Then tomorrow, refocus on the dream, select one small step you can take, take it…and from there eventually your dream will be real.
If we don’t want the Good Old Boy World to keep going – the world of greed, push marketing, war and grief, environmentally stupid practices…and all the rest of what’s been true for us…it’s up to you and me to create something better.
And the only way to do that is to dream up something better, focus on it and live it. Starting yesterday. No matter how hard it might seem, how impossible, how small we feel compared to others, how imperfect, how incapable. Choose, focus, live it.
© Angela Treat Lyon 2011-2021