Apples: look or eat?
Which would you prefer: to listen to me tell you about apples, or try one out for yourself?
OK, maybe you don’t like apples. How about papayas? Either way, it’s obvious that you’ll know more about papayas if you try them yourself than if I spent the next ten years telling you about them, even if you only take one little teensy bite.
I could tell you about EFT all night long, but until you experience it, you won’t have a real idea about what it can do. So, we’re going in running. Let’s just get on with it!
Are you experiencing any small thing you would rather not be feeling in your life right now, this very minute? Maybe a physical pain, or an unpleasant memory, maybe?
Write whatever it is down quickly and briefly.
It can be anything: a headache, a sore back, a knee pain, or a toothache. Or, you might be worrying about something, feeling anxious, or feeling lazy!
Maybe it’s 3:00 p.m., and you’re in the midst of an afternoon slump. You might be drowsy, or foggy-headed. Or maybe it’s late at night and you’re reading because you can’t sleep, or your feet are cold.
Maybe you want something but you don’t know quite what, so you’re inclined to reach for ice cream, cookies, or a candy bar. A cigarette, or a beer, maybe.
Maybe it’s not a pain at all but a longing. Or frustration because you can’t do something you want to do—or maybe you have to give a speech tomorrow, and just thinking about the stage, never mind going up on it and giving a forty-five minute talk, makes you nauseous.
Or perhaps you have to take a test tomorrow. You’ve studied and know the material, but are still freaked out by the idea of being tested.
Or you could be a world-class surfer, and you have never told anyone about your fear of falling off big waves. You brave it out, override your fear every time you go out, but it sits in the pit of your stomach like a lead ball each time.
Find your own. What was it that flew to the top of your thoughts when I asked you on the first page of this chapter? Write it down. Briefly – like, fear of falling off big waves. No story.
Feel the pain/emotion/sensation
Why try to find the feeling? Because feeling something you don’t like and trying not to feel it can make you lose attention on whatever you’re doing. If you’re going to be present, this needs to be cleared up.
It’s alright to feel what you feel! It’s not a character fault! If we don’t feel, chances are we’re dead or on our way. In order to find out how to resolve something, we have to identify it first.
Feeling is OK: feeling it is how we find the problem.
Be with it as much as you can without hurting yourself. It is not the point to traumatize yourself. Some helpful questions:
Where is the pain/feeling/sensation in your body? Or maybe it’s outside of your body. Is it in your head? Is it in your thoughts only?
How would you describe it to me? Is it sharp, dull, an ache, just a feeling of, say, being squashed? Is it intense, or light, or maybe hot?
Does it come in waves, or is it erratic? Is it tiring, black, heavy, nauseating?
Does it have a sound or a shape? A color or texture? Someone’s voice?
Now describe it—whatever “it” is—to yourself very well and write it down.
Rate the sensation
Let’s say that you have a huge thermometer that measures intensity of feeling. It’s marked with intervals from zero up to ten, with ten being the highest in intensity.
What rating would you give the intensity of your feeling or sensation (this is often called SUDs, or Subjective Units of Distress)?
If it’s hard for you to imagine a number for the rating, guess. Your intuition will usually be right on.
We use this number as a reference point so that, when you’re done with this short process, you’ll be able to see where you came from and what kind of progress you made.
Make sure to write down the number you got.
Being able to notice
If you have marked the intensity of your feeling at only a one or two, find another issue that has a rating of at least five, so you can notice a difference when you’ve finished the exercise.
If you can’t find something that bothers you right now, try to remember a time when you had a troubling pain, experience or emotion. Use that.
See if this helps: is there any experience or incident in your life that you would erase or get rid of, if you only could. That works really well.
Please be kind to yourself
Remember, it’s up to you to be responsible for your own well-being, whether you’re feeling a present sensation or one from the past. For now, please avoid choosing a problem that is really distressing (a nine or ten)—this is just an exercise. We’re making a point here, not trying to get you into extreme pain or paroxysms of raging emotion!
Here we go!
Now. You have a sensation that you have named and described on your sheet of paper. You have rated this sensation, and you’ve written down the rating.
You’ll need to know the Karate Chop Point and the Tapping Points.
Here are the steps of the process:
1. The setup
As you use the tips or the ends of the fingers of one hand to tap on the Karate Chop Point (the side of the palm you’d do a karate chop with), you say the Setup Phrase.
The setup phrase acknowledges the pain. You’ll speak it out loud, saying:
I’m feeling this pain/feeling/sensation:
I’m so angry about… or
I’m so afraid that… or
I really really want that cookie! or,
I’m so worried I’ll fail that test….
Keep tapping on the Karate Chop Point, and say:
I deeply and completely accept myself
Altogether it looks and sound like this:
I feel this pain/feeling/sensation
I deeply and completely accept myself
Repeat these two phrases so that you have said them three times as you simultaneously and continually strike the Karate Chop Point. Strike the Karate Chop point gently but firmly, without hurting your hands.
Important note: Don’t worry that by saying these things you might be ‘installing’ these negative things into your system—they’re already there, or you wouldn’t be thinking about them or feeling them!
All you’re doing is letting them come out as the truth about how you feel right now in this moment.
2. The tapping sequence
Next, with the tips of your first and second fingers, tap on each face point moving down your face to the collarbone and underarm points.
The Points are:
1. At the beginning of the eyebrows over the nose
2. At the edge of the outside of your eye on the bony ridge
3. Under the eye on middle of the bony ridge right under your pupil as you look forward
4. Under the middle of the nostrils
5. On the chin right under your bottom lip
6. On one or both knobby collarbone ends right at the base of your neck
7. Under the arm, about 4″ down from the armpit
Tap firmly about 5 to 7 times on each point as you repeat the words,
“this pain (feeling, sensation)” as you go down the line of tapping points.
You can also say phrases like this: “this awful headache,” “I’m so angry,” “I hate this hip pain,” “I feel so lonely” and so on.
There are seven points in the basic ‘recipe’.
Make sure you find and tap each one.
Tap using the same intensity you would as if you were drumming the table when you are impatient—it’s about that same firmness.
Please—don’t tap so hard that you hurt or bruise yourself! If tapping any particular spot hurts, gently rub the points with your fingertips, or skip over it.
3. Check new rating
At the end of the tapping sequence, check the intensity rating for your pain/emotion/sensation. Is it the same? Lower? Higher? Write down your results, and any notes you might want to add.
One more time
If the rating is the same or higher, repeat the process, saying,
“even though I still have this….”
Write down your results, and any notes you might want to add.
If there is little or no movement or the rating is higher, try again. Do your best to get the rating down to zero, but if you remain at a livable one or two, it’s OK. Sometimes things even out all on their own within an hour or a day afterwards. You’ll try to find it, and it won’t be there.
Write it down
Write down your results, and any notes you might want to add. (And if it’s a toothache, please go see your dentist, too!)
You have now completed your first experience using EFT!
By this time, you ought to have had some movement of the energy in your system.
Many people experience their pain disappearing, their emotions calming, or a craving going away. Breathing often becomes deeper and more full.
Some people sigh or yawn, burp or fart. Some get shivers down the back or other part of the body.
Testing like this is the best way to get a taste of the process of EFT. I can’t possibly forecast what might happen for you, but I hope you got relief from whatever pain or unwanted feeling you were experiencing, and that you feel better than you did before. And if you did not, I hope you will continue tapping.
Your sensations and your notes are tangible (think of what the word ‘tangible’ means: touchable, within reach). Each notation is real evidence that you have just taught yourself the basics of a tool with which, if you choose, you can drastically and significantly change the quality of your life.
Be specific: the more carefully you notice what you feel, the more disrupted energy you can clear and heal.
Say, for example, you have a headache. The more specific you can be the better. Instead of saying, “I have a headache,” say,
“I have a headache in the top part of my head on the right side right over my ear.”
Check carefully to see what something is, where it is, how it feels, and how much intensity it has. Identify it, what ever “it” is!
Rate it/Write it down.
Give it a number—what intensity level is it at for you? If you can’t “see” a thermometer or “hear” a number, or feel a level of intensity—guess! Write it down!
Setup and I Accept Statement
Tap on the Karate Chop point, or rub the Sore Spot, and repeat the Setup phrase three times:
I feel this ____________ ,
I deeply and completely accept myself
(or, I want to love and accept myself, or,
I’m willing to think about loving & accepting myself)
Examples of I accept phrases for kids:
I’m a great kid
My Mom loves me
Tap the Sequence:
What is your intensity rating now?
Write it down.
After you start getting results, check out this website for EFT beginners: EFTinEveryHome.com.
I created it so you can tell your family, friends and whoever else about it and not have to explain EFT to them. You’re not ready yet! But you’ve had an experience, and are most likely excited, and want to share it with them.
I invite you to send them to EFTinEveryHome.com because they can get a taste of what EFT is like right there at the site, without you having to try to explain it.
Can you see why I’m so passionate about as many people as possible in the world gaining emotional mastery?
Imagine how life would be if kids, starting at a young age, could handle being bullied or being laughed at with ease—or maybe the ones who would be bullies were so happy they wouldn’t bully at all!
Imagine how it would be if someone who was hurt, abused, molested, raped or traumatized in any way could clear that trauma in minutes.
Know what? They can. And do.
What a different world it’d be!
The implications are amazing, yes?
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖